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...your husband administers the Voight-Kampff test to your dog:

(A conversation from this morning. Both dogs jumped up on the bed before we got up. Our mutt Sabre, who has recently discovered his overactive prey drive, has his heavy, Akita-mix head on Bob's chest, gazing sleepily into his eyes.)

Bob:
"Your neighbor's sweet, beloved, declawed cat Peri, which you were raised with as a puppy, wanders into your yard."

Sabre:
Stupid cats. I wasn't going to bite down real hard; I didn't even break the skin. I dunno what the big deal was about that..."

Bob:
"You trap a cottontail rabbit under the shed. You can dig around the edges but can't get to it. The rabbit makes a break for it and heads for the woods."

Sabre:
"I run it down and kill it. I gave it to you for a present, remember?"

Bob:
"A squirrel is digging for acorns under a tree. It's too busy to notice you."

Sabre:
"I sneak up on it like a big, furry black and white ninja and kill it. Sort of... I was gonna eat it but you guys acted all weird and upset and stuff like you wanted it or something. So I gave it to you too."

Me:
"Well, that's what we get for adopting an orphaned mutt from the streets."

Sabre:
"My mother!? Let me tell you about my mother..."

Yep. I knew it. Our dog's a replicant.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
madshutterbug
Dec. 16th, 2009 11:59 am (UTC)
FTW!!!
Bonus points for recognising the icon. :D
tinne
Dec. 17th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)
Re: FTW!!!
Stumped on the icon unless it involves Zhora's fake-snake!
madshutterbug
Dec. 21st, 2009 01:05 pm (UTC)
Re: FTW!!!
Bonus points awarded, now with extra origami!
major_thom4321
Dec. 16th, 2009 01:06 pm (UTC)
What Sabre is really doing is helping with the grocery shopping.

Squiwels and wabbits, dems good eats mom and dad! Cat's taste like chicken, chicken doens't agree with me.
tinne
Dec. 17th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
This skill of his could very well come in handy in a post-Apocalyptic situation. Don't quite fancy citrus rats though...
kamala_1
Dec. 16th, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
At least he is not bringing home coyote bones. The skull was kind of cool, but the others...
tinne
Dec. 17th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)
Hey, they're adding to your Southwest decor! Get them to bring you a cow skull next!
moorewr
Dec. 16th, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Love it.
beeber2
Dec. 17th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC)
RECENTLY discovered?!!? Holy cow...I just saw the BETA?
tinne
Dec. 17th, 2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
Yeah, thank goodness he makes a distinction between say, the neighbor's Boston terrier puppy and another's elderly Chihuahua: not everything that is swift, small and furry is prey. Actually, he's wonderfully gentle with little dogs and puppies. (Cats; not so much...)

But apparently between the Akita hardwiring for hunting waterfowl and bears(!) and the Springer Spaniel for pouncing and flushing birds & small game, we have the ultimate hunting dog. That was never high on my list of things I wanted in my shelter dog adoption wish list. I was thinking more along the lines of, say, long hikes in the woods off a leash, etc.

THAT'LL never happen... Unless we need a deer or a boar. ;-)
beeber2
Dec. 18th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
Venison IS delicious...
columella
Dec. 17th, 2009 04:05 am (UTC)
And then he runs outside chasing Edward with "boy, boy, boy, boy" going through his head...
tinne
Dec. 17th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Because boys are AWESOME!!
morrisman
Dec. 23rd, 2009 03:38 pm (UTC)
Pretty cool dog for a replicant...
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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